My Favorite Insect Movies

The Swarm

Bugs - I am having a hard time finding information on this late 80s classic about sentient insects.  It was like 2 movies in one.

Phase 4

Mothra

Kingdom of the Spiders

Eight Legged Freaks

A Bug's Life

Joe's Apartment

Tarantulas: The Deadly Cargo

I KNOW that I will have X number of tasks to do at work this week.  I know that I will spend Y number of hours trying to deal with my dog suffering from separation anxiety.  I know that I will have to spend Z hours working on roller derby back office stuff.

What I don't know is how to work in 4 new 30 second videos promoting the Nov 13 bout, 2 weekend in September announcing and one at DragonCon, and still getting my own items written and shot.

I have always considered myself a writer, but I've gotten side tracked into other things I love.  The few moments I steal to write are the happiest for me, but these days they are feeling more and more futile as I have less free time to finish anything!

Derby announcing makes me very happy.  If I could make a living on it, I'd never look back, but I can't, so I promote myself beyond my home league.  Second only to announcing for Little City I love announcing for the Blue Ridge Rollergirs in Asheville.  Not only do they have a great team, but I've gotten to know the players and support staff of that team and I think they are all spectacular people.  Hard Knox is another place I love to work.  Their announcers are funny and generously share the mic.  The URGE are always fun to announce for, their small bouts are intense and their arena is filled almost exclusively with derby folk.  Announcing is something I have a talent for.  I have a LONG way to go before I can consider myself good at it, but it makes me happy on a deep level and I need alot more of that.

But it takes time away from other things I need to do for myself.  Let's face it, I have high blood pressure and control my diabetes through diet: I do not have a good prognosis.  I have to make the most of every minute!  Unfortunately, I find myself mired down, separated from the freedom I've always needed in the past to get things done.  Not enough time, not enough freedom.

Anyhow...time to work on the Halloween Zombie Walk that I've always dreamed about.

Hehe.  Screw it.  There's always TIME for the things that make me happy.  Always.

Complexity

Things in life can get complex.

You start off in a fairly simple place: "Hi, I've got nothin'."

Then, you find some opportunities and suddenly, "Wow. I've got a little something."

You start trying to acquire more, but what happens? It's easy to forget who you used to be when you had nothing. Suddenly, instead of being defined by who you are, PLUS the fact that you one day want something, you find yourself having something, but wanting to be MORE SUCCESSFUL at it.  Personal sacrifice, planning, single-minded focus, all of the positive traits that are required for success, ironically, force you to leave that simple part of yourself dormant.  Not gone, or sold, or damaged, but definitely compromised.

One day the questions become, "When does success end? At what point do I WIN? At what point can I be the person that had nothing again and say, at long last, 'THIS IS MINE?'"

What does it mean? Is it the striving? Is it the absence of failure?  Is it a distraction?

When you wake up and say, "I miss the way it was when I had nothing," do you mean it? Did you just say that? Time for another meeting.

After the meeting, you think that fulfillment and acquisition might be two different things.  You want to ask someone in the office, but the only people you could talk to are your best friend, who can't know that you're maybe not successful, or the stupid bastard you work with.  He would probably make some stupid comment and then tell a story about his own life.  God, you hate that guy.

Bills have to get paid, your cell phone is dead, you didn't expect to have to replace it so soon, but suddenly there is another expense!  You are broke, but you still have success enough to know that you could be doing a dozen things right now and be praised for them.

You ask yourself, "If, when I had nothing, I felt content, and now, I feel only loss that I have over-reached my budget, how am I better off? Having the money didn't make you content, you suggest, it merely made it more comfortable.  I never worried when I had nothing, I never had to go through this, why is it so complex?"

Suddenly, you hear an answer:  "Because, when you had nothing, you had no idea of what you were missing."

For the next little while, I'm going to share my favorites.